Setting Healthy Boundaries

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Setting Healthy Boundaries


There’s a lot to be said for boundaries. Boundaries aren’t the antithesis to freedom but the assistant to it. 

The idea of setting boundaries in our lives doesn’t sound very sexy but if we fail to apply boundaries then we will never live up to our potential. 

Think about it. Good money management requires a budget. Good driving requires we stay within the roadmarks. But let’s go deeper for a moment. If we want to avoid car crashes in our relationships, dating and emotions we need to apply the wisdom of boundaries. 

In the ancient book of the Psalms, David the King of Israel wrote these words recorded in Psalm 16:6 ...

“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.


David is saying that the boundaries of his life have expanded and grown. This means that when we set boundaries in our life, we actually experience more freedom not less freedom. This doesn’t make sense on one level because we tend to think that freedom and a life of meaning requires no rules, no restrictions and no boundaries. But this flawed logic doesn’t work in real life. 


If we want to mature and live the abundant life promised in John 10:10, then we need to set some boundaries over our heart, in our relationships and emotions. 


Here are 6 boundaries we can set up if we want our lives to be healthy. These 6 boundaries are taken directly from Psalm 16. 

#1 Unsafe Places

Psalms 16:1 TPT

“Keep me safe, O mighty God. I run for dear life to you, 

my safe place.”

An unsafe place is where you are likely to be harmed, damaged or lost. There are places we can run to for relief but they do more harm to us than good.


Where do you turn when life is too much? Where do you run to in order to medicate what is stressing you? We ALL have a hiding place. 


For some of us, it maybe a person we run too. And this makes things worse. Or maybe you run to places online to numb the pain or escape from the harsh realities of life. These places are unsafe emotionally, psychological and spiritually. 


If want to grow in freedom, we need to say NO to unsafe places. We need to learn to set boundaries around us. 


God is my safe place. A place of true refuge and grace. A place of no condemnation and shame. God through the person of Jesus is our true safe place.

#2 Isolation

Psalm 16:3 MSG

“And these God-chosen lives all around— what splendid friends they make!”


I’m currently reading a book titled ‘The Village Effect’ and the premise of the book is that face to face contact with friends has the emotional power to bring healing effects to our body. It’s an interesting read. 

The scriptures continual point us toward building healthy community around us. When times are tough we can be tempted to withdraw from the very people who are best for us. I’ve personally seen the effects of isolation in peoples lives. 

King David determined to stay planted in healthy community. He had ‘mighty men’ like Benaiah and Joab with him during the twists and turns of his life.

Who are you allowing to speak into your life? Who has your permission to challenge you? Isolation is a choice. Don’t allow it to take hold of you. 

#3 Cutting Corners 

Psalms 16:5 TPT

“Lord, I have chosen you alone as my inheritance. You are my prize, my pleasure, and my portion. I leave my destiny and its timing in your hands.”

There’s a time in David’s life when he was been hunted by King Saul. And one day David found Saul in a cave and David’s assistant whispered in his ear “Hey Dave, this is your chance to slay Saul and become the King of Israel.” So David Cut the Corner of Sauls robe and he was convicted and said to himself “I will not touch the Lords anointed again”. In other words, David determined that he will never Cut Corners again. 

In verse 5 of Psalm 16 David says “I leave my destiny and it’s timing in your hands”. David determined to not push himself into Gods purpose again but instead trust in Gods timing. He embraced each season with faithfulness. 

We need to settle in our heart that God knows what He is doing. We don’t have to strive but we can rest in the truth that He will open the right doors and close the wrong doors! 

In what area of your life are you cutting corners? Determine to serve with excellence and faithfulness. Your destiny is in safe hands! 

#4 Familiarity 


Psalms 16:6 TPT

“Your pleasant path leads me to pleasant places. I’m overwhelmed by the privileges that come with following you, for you have given me the best!
In 1 Corinthians 11:26 Paul wrote “You must never let familiarity breed contempt”. Contempt means to see something as worthless or common.

If we’re not careful we can become familiar with all the blessings around us. We can even become familiar with our faith. Familiarity causes us to take people for granted and take God for granted which leads us to an attitude of apathy.

David decided to set a boundary over his heart that he would never allow himself to become familiar with the privileges of following God. No matter how good your life is right now, familiarity is only one decision away. Decide to never go there. Stay grateful.

#5 Unaccountability

Psalms 16:7 TPT

“The way you counsel and correct me makes me praise you more, for your whispers in the night give me wisdom, showing me what to do next.”

Accountability is not the most popular word out there. People usually think of accountability as annoying. 

But David set a boundary of accountability around him. He had Nathan the Prophet and other advisors that he would run his decisions through. 

David’s lowest moment in his entire life was when he withdrew from accountability and ultimately committed adultery and murder. I can say with confidence that our lowest moments will most likely be because of unaccountability.

Although David failed from time to time, over the course of his life, he lived accountable to God and His Word. 

Who are you accountable too? Set some boundaries today.

#6 Dry Religiosity

Psalms 16:8 TPT

“Because you are close to me and always available, my confidence will never be shaken, for I experience your wrap-around presence every moment.”

David didn’t just believe in God and follow a set of principles. But David knew God in a personal way. “for I experience your wrap-around presence every moment.””

When David talks about experiencing the presence of God, I believe this was a decision that David made. You see, following Jesus is not just a conducting our lives to a set of moral standards. Following Jesus is about a personal relationship. If we’re not careful, our faith can become just about believing the right things. 

We need to make a decision to pursue Gods presence. To never settle for dry religiosity. 

#AtTheMovies WEEK THREE

SPIDERMAN

WHAT A

SUPERB SUNDAY

OF

#ATTHEMOVIES

HEY GUYS!

We had such an amazing time as we managed to catch our very own Spiderman in action this week of #AtTheMovies.

THANK YOU to all who came to watch Spiderman and hang out with us!!

A round of applause to all the volunteers who made Sunday a great one!!

Week Three of #AtTheMovies was BRILLIANT!! We had children dressed as Spider-Man and Spider-Woman. Everyone enjoyed their time watching Spiderman and taking loads of photos with our very own SPIDERMAN! 

Also, nachos after the movie was certainly a wonderful idea!! The children loved it!! They came up to many people to ask them riddles:

How do you call a cheese that is not yours?

Nachos-Cheese

Have you heard what are we doing for the local charity this month?

Throughout the month of August of the #AtTheMovies series, we are raising funds for 2 local charities, which are Grace House and Sunderland Young Carers. 

AT THE MOVIES is a creative series of weekly events throughout the month of August. 

Each week we'll watch a shortened version of a recent hit film (all the best bits!) and then we will unpack some hidden truth in this movie that has the potential to make a difference in our lives.

If you are still wondering what At The Movies is all about, why not pop in this Sunday, 26th of August 2018 at 5pm at the Washington Art Centre. We are showing 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' this week.

It is the last instalment of the series #AtTheMovies! So, if you have not make your way through Washington and be a part of #AtTheMovies, this Sunday is your chance!!

There will be a free bag of popcorn and party bag for every child. So, what are you waiting for? 

Sign up now for #AtTheMovies series 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi'.

#AtTheMovies Week Two

The Jungle Book

ANOTHER

FANTASTIC SUNDAY

OF

#AtTheMovies
 

HEY!!! Did You See Mowgli Running Around The Art Centre??

A humoungous thank you to all of you who came and watch 'The Jungle Book', played along with our very own 'Mowgli' and heard the Word of God.

KUDOS to all the volunteers who helped make Sundays #Amazing

Week Two of #AtTheMovies was awesome! There were families who came back after last week of #AtTheMovies, The Greatest Showman. They were so plugged-in to this creative series. The children absolutely loved it this week as we had pick and mix cinema style sweets.

We also like to thank, Karen MacLennan, Senior Fundraiser of Grace House for coming and be a part of #AtTheMovies. Grace House is a children’s charity that welcomes children and young people from across the North East, with complex disabilities, health needs and life limiting conditions. They provide a fun, safe, exciting environment where children can come and live life to the full. 

Throughout #AtTheMovies series, we are raising funds for 2 local charities, which are Grace House and Sunderland Young Carers. 

AT THE MOVIES is a creative series of weekly events throughout the month of August. 

Each week we'll watch a shortened version of a recent hit film (all the best bits!) and then we will unpack some hidden truth in this movie that has the potential to make a difference in our lives.

If you are still wondering what At The Movies is all about, why not pop in this Sunday, 19th of August 2018 at 5pm at the Washington Art Centre. We are showing 'Spiderman' this week.

There will be a free bag of popcorn and party bag for every child. So, what are you waiting for? 

Sign up now for #AtTheMovies series 'Spiderman'.

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#AtTheMovies Week One

THE GREATEST SHOWMAN

Our first week of

#AtTheMovies

on Sunday was

INCREDIBLE 🙌

Movies are powerful! Who would have thought that we can be inspired from it. 

A massive thank you to all who came down to see The Greatest Showman, sang along and heard the Word of God! 

Also, SHOUTOUT to the volunteers who helped make Sunday happen!

It was an amazing Sunday. There was more than a 100 people who attended this creative series. We have met many new friends. There was amazing conversation between team and the community around Washington.

Throughout #AtTheMovies series, we are also raising funds for 2 local charities, which are Grace House and Sunderland Young Carers. 

AT THE MOVIES is a creative series of weekly events throughout the month of August. 

Each week we'll watch a shortened version of a recent hit film (all the best bits!) and then we will unpack some hidden truth in this movie that has the potential to make a difference in our lives.

If you are still wondering what At The Movies is all about, why not pop in this Sunday, 12th of August 2018 at 5pm at the Washington Art Centre. We are showing 'The Jungle Book' this week.

There will be a free bag of popcorn for every child. So, what are you waiting for? 

Sign up now for #AtTheMovies series 'The Jungle Book'.

A daily Prayer Structure

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Are you satisfied with your prayer life?

If you are like most Christians, the honest brutal answer to that question would be a resounding "No". If you've been around church for some time, you've probably heard messages on prayer and plenty challenges to pray more.

But here we are again, living a frustrated life of prayerlessness. Is there any hope?

I recently found myself studying the life of Daniel and being struck by one particular verse found in Daniel 6:10.

'Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before.' Daniel 6:10 NIV

'Three times a day.'

Daniel was a busy guy. He had lots of responsibility as a chief administrator within the Babylonian political system. And lots of responsibility means working long hours, spending times in important meetings and dealing with the unexpected. In other ways, Daniel had many reasons to not pray, but he determined to make it a priority. Daniel prayed three times. Three times is not over the top or difficult. Three times is ... sustainable.

'Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed.'

Not only was Daniels prayer life sustainable. It was structured. I would like to propose to you, as someone who wants to pray more because you know that prayer changes you, I like to propose that you follow in Daniels footsteps. How? Pray three times a day for 7 mins. Why 7? No reason apart from the fact that it is sustainable (not too difficult)

Now here's the thing, to pray 3 times a day for 7 mins each time, that would mean you will be praying a minimum of 21 minutes every single day. Thats 147 minutes every week (2.5 hours) and thats 7,644 minutes per year (128 hours per year). Imagine what God could do in our hearts and through our prayers if we prayed like this? Maybe, God could even save us from a lions den ;-)

The big question next is - what do I pray during these 21 minutes per day? 

Below is a daily prayer structure that I've used for the past several years that I have found very helpful as a daily structure. This structure keeps me focused on the most important things.

 


A Daily Prayer Structure

1. Thanks and Praise

Psalm 100 or use another praise theme psalm

- For what He has done

- For WHO He is to me

- Why I love to worship Him

 

2. Surrender the reins of my heart

-humble myself under His mighty hand, for grace to be obedient to Your Word and to fulfil your will and my calling.

 

3. Ask for the Refilling of the Holy Spirit

-2 Timothy 1:7, the Holy Spirit gives me ...

- POWER to overcome any fear or obstacle

- LOVE, reminds me off His Love for me and empowers me to love others

- SOUND JUDGEMENT, gives me clarity of thought and gives me supernatural wisdom to make decisions that move His purpose forward in my life.

- PERSONAL DISCIPLINE, gives me strength and focus to be disciplined leading to a harvest of Christ honouring fruit.

 

4. My GOD Word

- word for the year or a significant scriptures God has spoken to you in the past. Recall those words and thank God for them. 

 

5. People I pray for everyday

- make a list of the people you want to pray for everyday. And take them each day to pray over them.

 

6. Nations

- list any specific nations here you want to pray for. Start with your own country. Pray for a move of God.

 

7. Cities 

- list cities, towns you want to pray for everyday. Pray for God to raise up people reaching churches in those cities.

 

8. Miracles

- a list of miracles you're currently believing for

9. Confessions

- craft scriptural confessions

 

10. Declaration of Gods power to perform His Will

- John 15

 


Throughout July we are hosting prayer meetings at our Sunderland location. Each meeting will last for one hour. Here are the dates and times below

 

- Thursday 5th July, 6:30pm

- Thursday 12th July, 6:30pm

- Thursday 19th July, 6:30pm